Dear Holiday Revelers

Dear Holiday Revelers

Dear uninvited guests from Norway,
I find it difficult to sleep through the sound
as you power-up your mini chainsaws
and go to work at 3 am on the rafter
above my head.
I regret to inform you that your inharmonious habits
-the tap dancing contests you hold close to midnight, for instance-
have led me to pursue other avenues
beyond pounding with a stick on my ceiling.
It isn't that I am Speciest;
fond of dogs and cats, goats and chickens,
not so fond of your plague-carrying people,
it's only that none of the other 4-legged allies
have come to live in my attic with plans for a breeding program,
strategic and tactical 3-D models laid out in code,
and plans for an eventual corporate takeover
of all my assets: kitchen, baths, bedrooms,
and of course the family room, with its wood stove,
and finally, plans for the slavery of my family and myself.
It is because I have been apprised of your long-term goals
that I must become proactive on behalf of all I consider precious.
Which is why, dear Sirs and Madame,
you will find my offers of chunky peanut butter
and small piles of organic cheddar cheese bunny crackers
loaded, so to speak....
Please enjoy these parting gifts and consider them
the tokens of neighborliness they are designed to be.
Wishing you a speedy transition to your new destination,
wherever that may be,
Madeline

December 2009